The Top 12 Bacon Facts, Myths, & Legends
How much exactly, do you know about bacon?
Baconfest is coming May 12th to the Tri-State Fairgrounds. The group of stations I work for, Townsquare Media is presenting the event. We are all pretty excited around our respective radio stations for Baconfest. The name says it all, it’s a festival celebrating that most delectable part of the hog, Bacon!
To get you ready for the blessed event, I have researched and compiled a list of 12 Bacon facts, myths, and legends. They are presented in no particular order.
Caution! Like Bacon grease, this list is hot, be careful for pops and splatters.
12. Much like water can be a solid, gas, or liquid; Bacon can be breakfast, sandwich, or salad topping.
11. The best way to throw shade on your coworkers is to fire up four slices for five minutes on high in the office microwave.
10. During a drought get relief by setting a skillet of Bacon on to fry, close your eyes and it’s raining.
9. Bacon is an acceptable source of protein in any Vegan or Vegetarian diet.
8. The primary ingredient in smelling salts used to awaken unconscious NFL players is Bacon grease.
7. Fast Food restaurants offer to put Bacon on everything because Bacon generally covers up the taste of disappointment.
6. Bacon won’t give a warning. But one day in an alley on the wrong side of town, Bacon will corner Pumpkin Spice and beat it to a pulp. And that will be the end of that.
5. The benefit of Bacon to United States domestic security was made obvious the day our neighbors to the north named a completely unrelated cut of pork “Canadian Bacon”.
4. If all you have for lunch is a sack of rotten eggs and one slice of Bacon, you won’t have to eat the rotten eggs.
3. Turkey Bacon is not Bacon. All products labelled “Turkey Bacon” should be boycotted until the FDA ensures those products are properly labelled, “Bacon Flavored Pressed Turkey Jerky”.
2. Put down the EVOO and the Peanut Oil and mix in Bacon drippings for fried potatoes and cream gravy that don't suck.
1. When you choose not to eat Bacon you let the enemy win.
I hope to see you at Baconfest!